By Cindy Hartwig
Parenting Columnist, Canyon Lake Insider
With less than a month before school starts, it is helpful to be prepared for the transition to school. Separation anxiety can be upsetting when it occurs, but rest assured, is a completely normal phase of child development. Personality types, learning styles, and cultural differences all contribute to the duration and intensity of this phase.
The following tips may aid you in successful navigation through this emotional transition:
- Keep the goal in mind and remind yourself of the purpose for leaving your child. Once you have done your research, be assured that you have selected a quality program and that attending church or school is a healthy and natural transition that is beneficial for your child’s development.
- Remind yourself that it is better to help your child work through these issues now, and be proactive before school even begins.
- Prepare your child ahead of time by letting them know when they have a drop-off activity.
- Avoid displaying your own emotional response at drop-off (for example, a tearful goodbye from a parent may usher in a tearful response in children).
- Establish and keep to a regular routine and schedule. Children feel safe when their schedule is routine and predictable.
- Keep mornings simple and allow plenty of time, to minimize stress. Have clothes laid out and a nutritional breakfast ready.
- Remember, despite your best efforts, life is not always predictable. If something interrupts the routine, talk them through the change.
- Be sure that they go to bed early and are well rested for an active day at church or school.
- Eat breakfast with your child in the morning and talk about their upcoming day.
- Remind your child that you will return to pick them up.
- Pray with your child about anything that makes them anxious.
- Once in the classroom, help your child choose an activity, but avoid lingering. They will pick up on your uncertainty.
- Avoid volunteering in your child’s class if the problem worsens.
- Manage your own feelings of apprehension, related to separating from your child. Children are perceptive and will pick up on your anxiousness.
- Say a brief goodbye. Avoid sneaking out-this only exaggerates the anxiety.
- Schedule observation time if the problem persists. You may be reassured by observing your child without their knowledge. Many times a child that displays a dramatic departure, adapts quickly, and becomes happy and engaged once the parent is out of sight.
- Offer feedback to the teachers. Let them know about any strategies that have worked in the past with babysitters, family, Sunday school, etc.
- Request a home visit if available. Educators who are invited into the home become more familiar and trustworthy in the eyes of a child.
- Encourage friendships with the children in your child’s class. Get to know the other parents through parent groups and attend play dates and school-sponsored social gatherings with your child.
- Ask for a meeting with the teacher to discuss strategies for the implementation of a plan to minimize separation anxiety. Many times, once a plan is in place, the child’s stress decreases because he/she senses that the adults are all on the same page.
Cindy Hartwig is a parenting coach and consultant specializing in start-ups, growth, and expansion for churches and schools. She works with children, parents, educators, administrators, board members, accreditation teams, and pastors to strategize and implement best practices in education. Hartwig resides in Canyon Lake and is co-founder of 1 Focus Counseling.
